The power of encouragement in comparison to praise is quite significant, especially when it comes to parents, caregivers, and nannies. To foster growth in a child, it is essential to recognise their efforts and achievements and use this as a motivation for them to tackle more challenging tasks. Instead of merely offering encouraging words which are ideally praised, parents and nannies should focus on specific words that highlight the child’s hard work and determination, rather than the child as an individual.
This approach helps to boost the child’s self-esteem and helps them to develop a healthy sense of self-evaluation by creating an environment where they feel supported and appreciated. When a child is in an encouraging environment, they are more likely to take risks, learn from their mistakes and also engage actively in their own development.
Understanding the Impact of Words on Children
Words have the power to influence a child’s self-perception. Encouragement and praise are two very distinct approaches to communication with children.
Parents and caregivers need to understand the difference between encouragement and praise and implement them in the right setting and at the right time.
The Difference Between Encouragement and Praise
Encouragement mainly focuses on a child’s effort, progress and learning process, whereas praise focuses more on the child’s achievements, talents and intelligence. Where encouragement promotes more of a growth mindset, praise could create a fixed mindset.
The Effects of Praise on School-Age Children
Praise, especially in school-age children, can create a fixed mindset. It could lead to a fear of failure and a reluctance to take risks. Praise can undermine a child’s motivation and engagement.
The Praise Paradox
When praise is used incorrectly it can undermine a child’s ability to self-evaluate and to self-regulate, in comparison to encouragement.
Praise as a Reward
The effect of using praise as a reward can diminish overtime, or have unintended consequences. A more effective approach is to consistently encourage your children’s efforts and help them recognise the value of their internal motivation rather than simply looking for external validation from an adult.
Praise is Superficial
While it’s instinctive to praise our children’s abilities, this often overlooks their dedication and passion for the activity. We want them to engage in pursuits driven by their interests, not merely to gain our approval. Although children naturally seek recognition and need to feel loved and supported, excessive praise can distract them from what truly matters. It tends to reward outcomes rather than the joy of the process, regardless of how sincere the compliment may be.
Praise Focuses More on the Person Not the Deed
While recognising your child’s efforts is essential, the way you express that recognition matters so much more. Encourage your child to understand that kindness and effort are a choice that fosters a desire to engage in more challenging tasks and develop their generosity further. By focusing on the action rather than the child, you will cultivate a mindset that values growth and effort over approval.
Praise may not Build Confidence or Internal Motivation
Any parent’s aim is to instil love and confidence in their children and to recognise how important it is to affirm their beliefs, behaviours and abilities. Parents can express this through compliments, hoping to uplift their children without inflating their egos. Life presents enough challenges and self-doubt, and it feels natural to highlight your child’s abilities, however excessive praise can be counterproductive.
According to research, counterproductive praise fosters a fixed mindset that makes children less inclined to tackle difficult tasks in comparison to those with a growth mindset. Thus, it emphasises perfection, which in turn can create a fear of failure that hinders the confidence and willingness of children to embrace challenges. So instead, focus on encouragement and effort, as it will better support their development and resilience.
The Power of Encouragement
Encouragement is a much more powerful tool than praise. It can shape a child’s self-perception and influence their behaviour positively. It also creates a more supportive learning environment where it fosters a growth mindset and promotes resilience. Encouragement mainly focuses on effort, progress and the learning process and uses a very specific and genuine language that emphasises the value of mistakes and failures.
Encouragement Strategies for Parents and Educators
Encouraging children instead of relying solely on praise can require some adjustment, as we often find ourselves using praise in various situations. However, adhering to certain principles can help ensure that our encouraging remarks remain effective.
Recognising and commending positive behaviours is crucial to reinforce good habits. Whether dealing with young children, preschool, or teenagers, highlighting their positive choices can create a significant and lasting influence on their development.
Focus on the Deed, not the Doer
Encouragement should always focus mainly on the child’s achievements rather than what you as the adult feel. It’s essential to shift your focus from personal pride or enjoyment to fostering a sense of growth and satisfaction in your child.
You can use phrases that highlight the child’s progress, such as recognising their expressive piano playing or celebrating their imaginative building skills. This reinforces their self-evaluation and motivation.
Foster a Growth Mindset
To encourage a growth mindset, you need to allow your children to take risks and view challenges as opportunities for growth. Also, emphasise the importance of persistence and resilience, and try to model a growth mindset yourself. Children often follow our examples.
The Power of Positive Language
Positive language is a very powerful tool in terms of encouragement. It can help shape a child’s self-perception and influence their behaviour using positive language, creating a positive and supportive learning environment that fosters a growth mindset and promotes resilience.
Encouragement in Action
It is vital when you put encouragement in action that you focus on the process and not on the product. You need to emphasise the value of the effort and the progress by using encouraging words and phrases.
Encouragement Strategies for Teachers and Parents
Teachers and parents need to use specific and genuine positive language to convey encouragement. It is crucial that you emphasise how important it is to make mistakes, and that you will fail from time to time. However, children must understand that failure has nothing to do with their self-worth and that they always have the chance to try again. Teachers and parents can use encouragement strategies and positive language to foster a sense of community and belonging for children.
Overcoming Challenges and Setbacks
Children will face many challenges and setbacks. It’s important to teach them to view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. You must emphasise to children how crucial it is to always persist and be resilient in whatever situation you may find yourself in. As an adult, you can model a growth mindset yourself, which will in turn be an encouragement for children to follow your example.
Teaching Children to Bounce Back
Teaching resilience to children is essential for their emotional development. When kids face setbacks, they might feel disheartened, impacting their self-esteem. It’s crucial to guide them in self-evaluation and self-regulation, helping them understand that experiencing emotions related to failure is natural and not a reflection of their worth.
Instead of viewing failure negatively, it should be seen as a stepping stone for growth. Encourage children to embrace challenges and take risks, fostering a supportive environment where they feel a sense of belonging. By emphasising the value of effort, working hard, and providing positive reinforcement, we can help them learn to tackle more demanding tasks with confidence.
Conclusion
As a final thought, encouragement and praise are two very distinct approaches to communicating with children. Understanding the difference between the two is crucial for parents, caregivers, and educators. Unlike superfluous praise, encouragement goes so much deeper into motivating children internally and demonstrating positive behaviour.
Encouragement teaches children to value things like hard work, teamwork, perseverance and improvement. Praise, on the other hand, creates more of a fixed mindset that concentrates more on the child as an individual than their actions, and can be counterproductive.
